Thursday, 10 January 2008

Lampooning Lexiophilically

You might require to read it again and again to get the joke, but don't worry, not everyone is gifted.

01. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
02. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
03. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
04. A backward poet writes inverse.
05. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
06. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
07. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
08. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
09. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

1 comment:

The Decayed Canine said...

Where the F do you rip these from mate? Some of them were quite touching. :D