Monday, 28 May 2007

A day at a Cafe

Let me describe the scene for you here. It’s a normal café. You know something akin to the Café Coffee Day s in India. Cafés are quite refreshing. The coffees, hot and/or cold, are a welcome relief when you want to take your time out and relax. Another of its plus points is that, you might just find some young, hot female refreshing herself, by having one beverage or another, to shift your heart into 4th gear which had already begun skipping due to the caffeine entering the circulatory system. And if the Gods are smiling on you, that YHF might not be accompanied by a hunky, body look-alike of Vin Diesel. And if Lady Luck’s really doing overtime, why, you might even find a bunch of giggling YHFs to make the hot coffee cold or vice versa. So, there’s a guy in one such café and he’s in quite a hurry. So a waitress comes to take his order and…

Waitress: Welcome to Café coffee Catch-up. What is your choice for today? Classic, Mocha or Latte?

Guy: Classic, please.

Waitress: Regular, decaf or filtered?

Guy: Regular.

Waitress: With milk or without milk?

Guy: With milk, please.

Waitress: Normal, Skimmed or Low-fat?

Guy: Huh? Oh, skimmed.

Waitress: Paper, Recyclable or foam?

Guy: What?

Waitress: The coffee cup! You have to choose the type of coffee cup.

Guy: Oh okay, recyclable then.

Waitress: With cream on top or froth on top?

Guy: Uh… cream on top.

Waitress: Sprinkles?

Guy (now a bit flustered): I don’t want any.

Waitress: You’ve got to…

Guy (irritably): Oh, yes then. Look, I’m in a real hurry so just get me my order real quick, okay?

Waitress: Mild, medium or frightful?

Guy: Mild, medium or frightful what?

Waitress: Your type of hurry… is it mild, medium of frightful?


Waitress: I’ll put it down as “frightful”.

Guy: LOOK!!! (Takes a deep breath and relaxes himself) Look, I just want a regular coffee with milk with no bloody sprinkles on top or I’ll smack you one.

Waitress: Ooooh… Fist, open palm or Knuckle duster?

(There is a sound which the comics describe as “WHAM”)

Waitress (with a stuff upper lip): Thank you for your order… And oh, I forgot, there’s a special promotion so if you answer this riddle, you’ll have what you ordered for free… “What is black and blue and red all over?”

Guy (with extreme deliberate patience): That would be you if you don’t get my order… PRONTO!

Waitress: …. Right…. Away…. Sir!

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