Daffy-nitions

I was getting too bored during my internship. And out of sheer lack of activity, I decided to browse a dictionary in order to enhance my vocabulary. Mid-browse, I hit upon the idea to create my own dictionary with another (and more logical) meaning for already established words (or words that should have been, but are not, included in a dictionary). The following is the result of my efforts over 6 and a half hours…

Pro-rogue: A professional thief.
Thermo-couple: A couple who have "heated" arguments everyday.
Hipocris(p)y: A Hippo-potato-mus chips.
Sight-seeing: Web browsing
Web-site: A perfect place for a spider to live.
Butter-fly: This is when you throw butter out of the window.
Splint: To run very fast with a broken leg.
Casinova: A lover of gambling.
Spectacula(r): A short-sighted vampire.
Shellfish : A bit like a shelf.
Tad-pole : a quarter Polish.
Windsurfing : The hobby of Superman.
Cardiogram : A telegram to one's heart.
Banshee : Strictly for males.
Karaoke : A combat system popularly used to harm and even kill unsuspecting songs.
Deter-gents : Chemicals that "washes out" the males.
Postgraduate : Degree holder working in the mailing business.
Barbe(r)cue : The long line outside the barber's shop.
Robinson : When your male child begins to steal.
Airplay : Quidditch.
Microphone : A telecommunication device for bacteria.
Retreat : When you go back for a second helping of dessert!
Hum-bug : A tune that is bugging you!
espouse: Electronic spouse!
ex-am : My former self
Hydro-gen : The water generation
Alienate : To send into outer space.
Algorithm : The music of calculation.
Miss-ile : A destructive unmarried woman.
Con-found : When you have located a criminal.
De-sire : When you have lost your leader.
Pop-corn : Daddy corn.
Con-ference : A discussion of prisoners.
Lavatory : A contraption to contain magma.
In-car-nation : The country where everyone stays in their vehicles.
Con-traction : Friction between various inmates.
De-feat : A person whose legs have beem amputated.
Ex-act : A deleted scene from a play.
De-light : Dark.
Cuff-links : A chain of coughs. (You know, one guy coughs, then another guy, then another and so on..)