Songs of the Middle-Earth: Minas Morgul

Minas Morgul
(Sung to the tune of Hotel California by The Eagles)

On a dark Mordor highway, foul wind in my hair
Foul smell of flesh, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There he stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this could not be heaven so this really is hell’
Then he lit up a torch and he showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Minas Morgul
Such a beastly place
Such a beastly face
Plenty of doom at the Minas Morgul
Any time of year, you can find it here

His mind is a little twisted, He's got the orcs and troll
He got a lot of baddy, baddy boys, that He calls Nazgul
How they roam in the courtyard, shreiking their cry.
Some kill for pleasure, some kill to destroy

So I called up the Witch King,
’please bring me my wine’
He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Minas Morgul
Such a beastly place
Such a beastly face
They livin’ it up at the Minas Morgul
What a nice kill, to your heart's fill.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink flesh on ice
And he said ’you are all just prisoners here, of your own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the dinner
The stab it with their steely knives,
After they had killed the prisoner.

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’relax,’ said the Witch King,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkin any time you like,
But you can never leave!